It started with a sneeze after which I had to focus really hard to regain my breath. It was painful but funny at first since all I could do for a whole day was walk around the city on a beautiful Autumn day. Yet again, this was 3 weeks ago. After carrying things on my own two feet with a bit of Ipren here, a bit of Ipren there, a lot of Ipren in the end, a chiropractor who happened to be in town worked with me for two consecutive days, one for each day, and I was pain free. 5 days later the pain was back, my saviour was miles away from Stockholm so here I was going to the doctor at the local medical clinic, Vårdcentral, to those familiar with Swedish terms. And this is where my anger started.
After nicely explaining the type of pain, the fact that Ipren doesn’t help, though I took 3 or 4 per day, the maximum strength one can find in the pharmacy without a prescription, I got stuck with a handful of other painkillers and a promise that I will be referred to a physiotherapist. No X-ray, no MRI. Day by day and pill by pill my pain got worse and worse. And so did my liver. I turned to a mild shade of yellow and I was so pale, I felt sick just by looking at me in the mirror. I called Vårdcentral and asked for advice, left a message to my doctor and two days later I got a different type of medicine, a safer one. One that doesn’t ease the pain at all though. And I also finally got an appointment with a physiotherapist, that I managed to speed up a bit by crying on the phone that I am in horrible pain. Two more days and I will finally be able to talk to somebody who hopefully knows how to treat spine pain. Cause that is where all this started from. Practically now I cannot sit, stand, lay down, walk without crying every 30 minutes, not because I wouldn’t be capable of bearing the sharp pain but because its constant presence is driving me nuts. I want a hug! And a doctor who would actually listen to me and my needs before stuffing me with painkillers. The pain spreads from my back down to my toes and now I even feel it in my left arm, my head hurts because somewhere inside of me I suspect a nerve is really frustrated, I can only sleep because I am too tired. Another version would be to have a glass of wine before I go to bed but I am not that stupid nor do I want my liver to fail completely. And I also want to eat but I can’t. I’m in such a state that I lost my appetite and fell like throwing up. I’ve heard that Swedish doctors have the bad habit of treating everything with paracetamol or painkillers but this is the first time this happens to me. Guess it was about time. I will leave a picture of a sunset here to please the reader that kept up with my frustration to the very end. And I will indulge into Netflix because it’s pretty much the only thing I can do on this frustrating Saturday evening.